Dry Clay - edit and questions - mar 26 2012 -

Should you look for me
try the house we built
of photographs
and sex
the bricks of our days
who now resides
within
may know

---




if you should look for me
Try visiting the little house
  we built
of sex and photographs
Before we learned to build with stone


--

?why the capital T and B?
 ?does "visiting" belong? or "little".
  ?what about the ambiguity of "should you"
?what is the significance of building with stone? of preceding it?
?what are sex and photographs? things that are other things? moments which can't be captured and captures which are not moments? snapshots of larger experience. landmarks.


Should you look for me
Try the house
we built
of sex and photographs
the stones of our days
who lives there now
may know my new country

--
?country?
 "where I've gone" my first impulse but it's an ugly cadence.
?"may know", full stop?

Should you look for me
 try the house we built
of photographs and sex -
 the stones? of our days
  (or bricks, old clays)
who lives there now
may know



Should you look for me
 try the house we built
of photographs
and sex: the bricks
(dry clays)
of our days
who now resides
within
may know


--

there's something snide
in "now resides"

and the clay and day are bitter in their nursery sound but do bricks need explanation (but then he slipped it in the title)

--

Should you look for me
try the house we built
of photographs
and sex
the bricks of our days
who now resides
within
may know

--