sitting in bed

sitting, i sit

nested in: blankets pillows soft slab mattress - patterns

of knit and fabric print and the wall familiar

further out the sea )the floor is lava( and stars - glued lovingly to ceiling in 

other days

i'll get up

in other days I'll get up 

other days but now the wood floor must be cold, and laundry needs adjusting

laundry needs more than i - sitting in bed

further in: consideration: options are weighed, an unholy See )should i Rome(

options are weighed without argument. no merit. hamlet sits.

sitting. i sit. there is an impulse to rise, to walk, to go forth, but it is not an impulse

what is it? not an impulse. a thought? a possibility! there is a possibility.

why a possibility? a possibility does not move, does not become.

sitting, i sit, become aware of possibility, empty space where i am not

not standing not dressing not in the garden

nested in blankets with folds which are dry river beds where the floods rise

i sit aware i am not standing in the cold room where drafts are complaining at windows

howling angry shaking trees the winds which are pressure, air too big for staying: air becoming elsewhere

which i am not - sitting - for hours as the light draws in negative:

shadows on  the wall which are not the light; apartments in the neighborhood which are not the light;

i am not the light have i got it in me, any of the light is it in me

is each possibility equal to each other:
i am not in the kitchen as i am not in the clouds

am not the air though

i am bigger than this place -

i do not howl or shake the trees

though i imagine that door

beyond which i have greater possibility

i am not

i sit