nor who i was

nor will be

here i

in michigan dolls looked down from shelves and shelves 

heads and bodies in repair

was there awindow

there were ducks in day

and a dog

here the air is different air

no water to blow over

the old quilt is dissolved

if my feet go bare in the dark

the old grass is gone

and the grandmother

and the iron for waffles

and the living room

and something of iron

i've never shot a buffalo

but still

they're shot

and i'll never belong

raised outside like a wild wolf

when the wolves are gone

but the old men still had beards

truth is,

closed windows don't stop the coming

air's not so cold

but the bugs aren't round the light they know

it's time

if i fly naked to the next light

i'll never stop wanting til

i can remember having

and shudder at being parted

every fire has burnt my wings

but there's no fire ahead

the lord has hidden behind

his mountain

all the truths 

won't stop me spin

ning

oh

ram

rama

rama rama

ram of darby

those old songs

spin on records

even when the table's turned 

its last

the ducks that nipped

have died

the labs that swam in bass lake

drowned in dirt

the graves are standing

where no visitor knows

who filled the pit with soil

by hand

grim faced

davening in bedrooms

driving the interstate between fish sandwiches

i remember walking 

barefoot

on the wood dock

into the lake

and sinking in the dark cold water

walking by fish

and seaweed

under the boats

bubbles rising across my cheeks

tickling

father swimming the surface calling "GIL"

but i 

walked to lake michigan

with the trout

and under the mud

i stayed