Tuesday, April 8, 2014

Why sleep?

Tomorrow is a charging bull
a coming storm
a terrifying thing.
Hide from it, under blankets, turn off lights
perhaps this time
you can avoid it.
too much is behind
lost
beckett lived when I lived
but never met me
nor wrote me
nor of me nor to me
and his death i missed
in all languages

what is the word for
that
for this
for just lost, recently, not recently, but too recently, too quickly
what wondering
squint for it, the proper word
won't help but
squint
see
other words for
waiting wanting waltzing
dance into songs
some recent
some long
longed for
Ancient Roman songs
all Ancient Rome is gone
but remembered
is it remembered? In a dream of songs.
lost songs hummed in a field
heard by bees
echoing in the earth
in ruined structures
ruined meadows
empty hives

the lenape
still alive
speak umi
now
what words are those
never speak to me
my name
never of me
my name
not here
where I am
where they lived
but here
where I am
and they live

not in my carrot patch
the lenape
the chickasaw
but in this place
many are
and have been
and are gone
and are not gone
this turtle that does not swim
but waits

I have a book of photos
with no names
family I never saw but
can see
who
never saw me
spoke me
did not conceive me
though they did indeed
conceive me
as they wandered like moses
from coast to coast
of this turtle
but never saw paradise

did they shed tears
looking over new lands
Are tears for what's
behind
for wondering?
Where could you have stopped, have stayed
in the desert
ceased wandering
and not missed
so much

Monday, April 7, 2014

so much is just behind
just lost
beckett lived when I lived
but never met me
nor wrote me
and his death i missed
in all languages

what is the word for
that
this
what wondering
squint for it
won't help
squint
see
other words for
waiting wanting waltzing
dance into songs
all recent
even roman songs
lost songs
hummed in a field
even the lenape
still alive
still speak umi
what words are those
but
never speak to me
never my name
not here
where they live
but i live

not in my carrot patch
the lenape
the chickasaw
my great uncle
or any other book of photos
with no names
family i can see
never saw me
wandered like moses
never saw eden

the tears
shed on the mountain
looking over new lands
are tears for what's
behind
where could you have stayed
in the desert
and not missed
so much

Wednesday, March 5, 2014

acting jokes

It's like our director thought "Waiting for Guffman" was an instructional video.

stupid shit - "the audition"

Thank you for seeing me today, I'll be singing...
I'd just like to take - I know this is frowned on, I'll be brief- just -
this musical means the world to me, it's part of who I am, and I believe, really,
the message, byeond the blood and the cannibalism and the jacobean organ music and the rapes and the burning of live human flesh.. it's all icing -
under all that, is a message of hope and promise - that Sween..
if I may be so bold, that *I*, before succumbing to hopelessness and despair and dying inside,
thus ALLOWING myself to be killed,
before all that I'm truly alive because he believes in his own promise, in his own soul, I affects my will totally on the world because he knows he is beautiful, and he becomes invincible, unkillable, unstoppable, he becomes what he was meant to be, by the strength of his own -
you get it... it's just like it says in the Bible - my favorite book next to the 7 habits of highly effective people,
which really has the same message, both books-
you can do, and BE anything if you refuse to compromise.
So, thanks for hearing that out, I know you're busy, I'll begin...

*deep breath*

Ok, Maestro? *points to accompanist*

music begins.

(singing): Butterfly in the sky...
I can go TWICE as high!
Take a look! It's in a book!
It's a READING RAINBOW!

I can BE ANYTHING...

etc.

Monday, March 3, 2014

Old love likes to nap, and reminisce look up friends, lament the ones who've passed try on new masks it's a special pleasure when the kids call but they usually are busy still it's not all waiting and remembering maybe a tree in the yard needs pruning and maybe you understand better than most what is urgent and what isn't

Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Rambling about Measure for Measure and natural law

every time I read this play I get more sympathetic to Angelo. He's less a villain than a schmo. Shakes really seems to be painting a man who lacks the power to fight the whims of lust - is Measure a Greek play with Fate played by Cupid?) .  Of course there's Angelo's previous dealings with Mariana, and his willingness to perjure himself and let others suffer in his defense, to keep him in the villain camp.  But he reminds me more of Hamlet's Claudio than of an Iago or Aaron.  He does evil but spends more time expressing guilt and conflict over it than in reveling in his misdeeds.. I know this play can be read as a political critique against Puritan morality in a time when the Theatre itself was under direct attack, but I wonder if there's something to a reading of the play as an exploration of natural forces...  The Natural Law above all expressed through lust and love, the state below becoming sick and corrupt the more it seeks to oppose the natural law.. I don't know what this says bout Duke Vincentio who (if Lucio is entirely false) is somehow above the whims of lust, his "complete breast" impenetrable by the dribbling dart (graphic!) of cupid...  but maybe that a complete philosophical education renders Man harmonious with nature, sort of a zen read? He isn't immune to love's pulls since he eventually proposes to Isabella (who is about to join a convent!), but since, unlike Angelo, the feelings that lead to that proposal never interfere with his execution of duty, and comes at the final scene, maybe it's an illustration of lust successfully sublimated into moral action..