i hate that rascal
for this and that folly
the moreso he's never in reach

clenched teeth and half breaths
return like -
i fear they'll kill me
like cigarettes in a statistical manual
minutes at a time and none of the fun
and the answer stares me in the face
but who wants to be stared at
even liquor's unappealing
time to make room for

One damned shoe has followed me
while i sort, organize, clean
once found its been, without a home, like a stray
to be found everywhere
and each time i uncover it in a basket or box or by the bed or in my forgotten hand
the same dumb thought : is this the other -
no -
damn -
throw it aside and resume my busyness
it waits again

rocking chair. brown.

forehead scar. nearly gone.

bicycle. round wheels.

rain falls.

maybe pancakes.

one thing to do.

meanwhile, remember to breathe.

hands badly scarred. but not red in some years.

back never straight as i'd like.

used to sneak light from hall, to read

never been to London bar.

in spring I'll plant

if winter doesn't make another man

from soil and snow

and wanting

Archaeology

Artifacts are unreliable
find a crumbled paper
its exactly what it was
but i am not
be now where then
and don't fit.
the reactions are wrong
the shapes are ugly
a photo which borrowed love
doesn't return it
after
and all the digging
doesn't show
truth
just objects
which were then
as now
incidental
digging only finds
what dirt has settled over
scatters it
as though it weren't the only thing
true

identity case b

others,                                                                            
never having been,                                                                                                
are perfect.                                                              
they never were perfect
now they are perfect.
thus now they are.    
the many sunflowers, thick-painted
can be seen  - or - not seen.
can be seen again. not not seen again. not-seen-yet. yet not unseen.
and seen? are wholly seen.
no seed grew there.
flower/not flower
paint / not paint
what, spirit?
to see other's
one must bow.
and be no more
or be no more
i am
not of the World
the great works
were not as mine
imperfect
made

identity case

others,                                                                            
never having been,                                                                                                                
are perfect.                                                             
never were
thus now they are.    
sunflowers, thick-painted
can be seen  - or - not seen.
can be seen again. not not seen again. not-seen-yet. yet not unseen.
and seen? are wholly seen.
no seed.
flower/not flower
paint / not paint
what, spirit?
to see an other
one must bow.
and be no more
or be no more
i am
what i was
imperfect
made

will i like tomorrow
what i like this poem this love
if i have lost the last thread of this morning's dream --
red face blond hair rocking chair jeans a fear --
will i have become
another? thus
will i like, tomorrow
this question
shall i endeavour now
what i may find tawdry
because it is grand
and i am so
grasping

must i recount

I'll narrate my self
to fishes
blub face in pond streams silver words go up
pop if it is raining mix with those ripples
if not the sun will catch above a leaf in gold fire

These little scratchings
left on roadside posts
who is finding them

I/O

stand in a shower:
wait for the water to hit the brain
wash all the accidents,
the little noticed nothings
the binges
follies
out
make room
make room
make room
be again
that old

drink all every even soap
shit everything
rid of the old problem

aha - of course Krapp's constipated, he can't let go

and then
when you go, new baptised, to the flowering meadow
and run - arms open (slow)
who will collide

even made whole
one may emerge naked to an empty world.

mouldering in the grave
but so is that other
he's
going to glory
all matter
is great
no evil
is

 i think of you
excited
hate not having
later will i sleep
you'll sleep nomatter
all my frogging croaks
you'll live

i had my way
i'd hand on hand
smile sweat hear
"yes"
but then
no next day
"maybe"
harsh
sun

no grass holds me down
first wind
i'll blow you over
we'll find
the ocean
to settle
love
feed fish with me
love
swirl whirlwind
love
shake off
this ground
we'll not be planted

nor who i was

nor will be

here i

in michigan dolls looked down from shelves and shelves 

heads and bodies in repair

was there awindow

there were ducks in day

and a dog

here the air is different air

no water to blow over

the old quilt is dissolved

if my feet go bare in the dark

the old grass is gone

and the grandmother

and the iron for waffles

and the living room

and something of iron

i've never shot a buffalo

but still

they're shot

and i'll never belong

raised outside like a wild wolf

when the wolves are gone

but the old men still had beards

truth is,

closed windows don't stop the coming

air's not so cold

but the bugs aren't round the light they know

it's time

if i fly naked to the next light

i'll never stop wanting til

i can remember having

and shudder at being parted

every fire has burnt my wings

but there's no fire ahead

the lord has hidden behind

his mountain

all the truths 

won't stop me spin

ning

oh

ram

rama

rama rama

ram of darby

those old songs

spin on records

even when the table's turned 

its last

the ducks that nipped

have died

the labs that swam in bass lake

drowned in dirt

the graves are standing

where no visitor knows

who filled the pit with soil

by hand

grim faced

davening in bedrooms

driving the interstate between fish sandwiches

i remember walking 

barefoot

on the wood dock

into the lake

and sinking in the dark cold water

walking by fish

and seaweed

under the boats

bubbles rising across my cheeks

tickling

father swimming the surface calling "GIL"

but i 

walked to lake michigan

with the trout

and under the mud

i stayed

i know songs i have heard
once
all our words must come from song
long ago we sang like birds
and settled for talking
i'd settle for
the right song

whether i touch myself
with beauty
or fingertips
i quiver
and regret

these eyes
 are strange devices whose workings are necessarily alien to kenning
though we may know rods and cones, and structure
we can not know all these in one moment
what magnificence! beyond a simple understanding, porous jellies, transmitting fragments of the universe
to our fingertips, our shoulders, our small backs, and coalescing those transmissions into tears

any understanding, which comes upon us in a moment, and grows too large to hold,
brings tears
wash us clean

NOISE IN LIFE

a little plastic
bin
off-white/cream/yellow/where the shadow is black/where the glare is bright
and marked "
grade A pequea valley farm
plain yogurt
32 oz (1 qt) 914g
bar code beautiful, melody of thin, thick, medium dark lines, white lines, silence and noise
10011010011011101010    1 0 10 OH ONE OH... two

Now we are in a red box.  The package ink is red and black.  Yogurt Red Cross. Yogurt Stendahl
ALL IN A RED BOX DOES THAT MEAN STOP

Nutrition Facts:
Serving Size 8 oz.
Servings Per Container 4
RED LINE THICK
Amount Per Serving
Red Line Thin
Calories 200 Calories from Fat 100
ReD LiNe MeDiUm ARE THESE DIFFERENT RED LINES A NEW BAR CODE OF SECRETS

% Daily Value (*!!!!!) (* TO BE REVEALED AND PERCENTAGES TO FOLLOW)
Red Line Thin
Total Fat 11g                           17%
Red Line Thin
   Saturated Fat 7g                   35%
Red Line Thin
  Trans Fat 0g                          NO INFORMATION HERE NO PARADE FOR TRANS FAT
                                                  gay pride is bought and sold now keep it pretty
Red Line Thin
Cholesterol 40mg                    13%
Red Line Thin
Sodium 105mg                         4% ((Sodium's molecular density = 0.968 g·cm⁻³ please calculate molarity
                                                              per serving below)
Red Line Thin
Potassium 330mg                     9%
Red Line Thin
Total Carbohydrate 18g           6% (heavy man, heavy...)
Red Line Thin
  Sugars 10g
Red Line Thin
Protein 7g
THICK RED LINE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Vitamin A 6& RED DOT Vitamin C 4%
Thin Red Line
Calcium 25% RED DOT Iron 0%
(now... surely many things are 0%, what makes iron so special here - convention - culture - history)
Thin Red Line
Not a significant source of dietary fiber. (nor a significant source of dinosaur dna, nor of meaning, nor of meaning, maybe only of meaning? words? nutshell dreams.. all meaning is in...)
Thin Red Line
* (at last the secret) Percent Daily Values are based on a 2,000 Calorie diet. Did you know Calorie was capitalized?  Calorie Johnson. Calorie Rappaport. Calorie Hardin. Calorie Cohen. Calorie you.) )
And end red box.

HOMEMADE (RED TEXT)
with golden creamy milk
from grass fed
Jersey cows. (thoity joisy cows)
(that's quite the pitch, cmon but, hey, they are good yogurt)

Ingredients: Pasteurized Whole Milk (Louis Pasteur saved lives but made milk taste terrible) and Live Active Cultures (Vaudeville though is still dead)

                 
                                  No Lid.
And the scent from the open crater
Flowers of Lemon Basil I have collected fill what once held something white
and this room is fragrant
perhaps I'll learn to sew
a sachet
of course
for you

a rule or two

The sky = all skies = sky

she = you = one she = all

and also

all shes are that one she. you she. for whomeIwrite

and all skies are this sky. which I can smell with these letters

the maya which makes all things seem not all but things

lives between letters

lives between lines

and the knowing moment which makes all seem one 

so? 

so. 

so: 

I may write for one she, but later read for another

or wonder: "who"? 

or "why"?

but did I wonder then?  and wasn't it glorious, when we danced

and I sang to you

under the light of

all lights

that one yellow 

then

if you go to class bring
pencils
and
extra time: saved from earlier years
do the reading before you're
born and write according to
guidelines
but be creative
don't plagiarize
cite extensively your own ideas
accept praise
and go forth
certain Moses' math, like yours, will keep broccoli
in the icebox.

At 9 : 0 6
exactly
words in the next room
and a closing phone
and soon a place to go - an outing - but the nature not wholly clear
tooth hurts where
food always jams under the gum
and flossing is like
civil war surgery
haven't had a drink in weeks though
no desire
for
a number of pleasures
waiting to return
and find the lights have
been

there is something lives in the blowing wind
behind those trees which fill the night with their shaking
over the sad flats of black vinyl which no one has bothered to etch with music
something blows which has tossed your hair
and left it behind
without regret

there is something lives in blowing wind
behind those trees which fill night with their shaking
over sad flats of black which no one has bothered to etch with music
something which has tossed your hair
and passed on

do you know why the caged bird
chickchirper does not go out at n
ight when alone without watching
eyes beak open the gate then tree
to tree the dark may be too much
dark even the rent-free room new
papered floor and seed it should b
e nice some time to go see others
have experience a lake or puddle
why not go just on occasion times

no no 

I'll rebel!

this 'no' 

doesn't match

the photo

make noise

if only i believed

i should

terrible smells

cat, scratching > innefectually > the old instinct useless without soil all round
and
need to change his diet
smells of death

-- and from outside

burning rubber or some
awful thing wafts in on the newly cold breeze
nothing natural makes that smell
so many generations never knew it

fear not (2)

someday:
             a new man wakes
             shakes off our old dust, which we dreaded spilling
             treads us barefoot. goes seeking.

impressions

I don't know why
the back of this desk
warms my feet.
no fire there.

--

one room has a bed
another a desk
     I
can travel to where
my function lives
or wander in -- be told -- here : sleep ; here : write; here : chewcudchew
       
can bodies be rooms
      this one : love
        this : depend
           this : discuss?

----

cold air where was warm air
that open window
where the rooms with no function have no doors
my right body colder than my left body
warm feet
crickets call
who calls me

----

we'll write our stories
and include others
if they sign off

---

jaw's tight
teeth meet teeth
holding one another in
each open mouth risks spilling a weak word
an admission --- I AM -- am not --
imagine : the burning bush... "I'm not that" "I want to be"

ramble

even metal screening
can be worn threadbare
 or worn as clothes, with bending
  what bends us more than the clothes we're given
   high heels in the hall at 3
    but ! sneakers at 10
those holes in the screen let through the world
but too small for me
like the mesh of metal over grade school windows
to keep them out or they in but I'd lose hours caught in them like spiderwebs
placing gravestones in the grey diamonds
or birds

to previous poets

and thank you,
 yes,
for permission: this arrangement
word : word -- word (word)
without which I'd be inventing
instead I swim in
your
um

I'll learn to read your alphabet
your shoulders' accents I
long at rest to be
taut, under your arms
the conjugations of your mouth
whose smile with foreign grammar
i'll be instructed in that tongue

lemon difficult

sit wait - know "should" - not know "will"  - know "word"
not words.
not which.
paint white on white - see endings - make none
who knows or do other thing
tomorrow
instead

motorcycle answers crickets
saw two foxes... one skunk... chasing
i.e. seasons/dreams/
a dragon - rounds the sun -
design our end : look forward to hindsight. what to remember, then
which photos
who to regret
who to have at bedside (boughten, satisf_)

want is
common.

we recognize it. like crickets
don't mean they should be motorcycles
if we kiss it's not "we knew" it's
"yes"
and the many "no" bring cold air over
"yes" the first snow.

Lesson, class:

We'll read caesar.
You'll be where I've been : I haven't covered my hole
Let's explore.

Oh. Swallow
Coals, my countrymen
Or are you rebel stabbing thug forgetful nomoremen
Will you reject
who loved this canon
Each canon from the civil word
Dead lines
Obscured in smoke or
Moneymakers wardens mayorpolice have read the bard
On a horse --  
eat your spinach : president someday
Not crooked
Be wise
Chip off the block
Cameras on corners uphill both ways in the snow sled rosebud ways down to the word 
all say the word with flag behind

country

men

lend me your 

lives 

due friday

please wait
a little longer
til I've made the necessary
measurements
ensured we fit
well enough
made room for you
or wait
til I've waited
too long
then

----

please wait
a little longer
til I've made the necessary
measurements
ensured we fit
made room for you
or til I've waited
too long
then

please wait
a while longer
til I've learned to say thank you
and you'll be fine
we'll both manage
hasn't it been
swell

stay just

please wait a while longer:
til I've learned to sum you up
and how to be who misses
rather than who means to visit

the sky distinguishes itself from wires and trees
now

I'll learn to read
the alphabet of you
the accents of your shoulder
at rest
or taut under your upraised arm
the grammar and conjugations of your brief smile
which is to show a joke
or to release what's gathered
under too long a gaze

shall i return again
to one or another crawlspace
under one or another stair
scratch my words between the cobwebs
in the soft mortar
listen, huddled, to footsteps
gloat at my secrecy.
announce to the spiders
'i am unfindable'
wait, as passersby cast shadows down the little beam of light
through the keyhole of the old wood door
and ask of each
"is it you"
"have you discovered me"

secret messages

Could we look back
after passing? Would others see?
Would you understand? I hadn't seen enough.

When we were young we would fight to be last to hang the phone.
Phones still hung then. We still cooed. She married and I went on.

Now I glance over the mirror and wonder if I'll be last to look.
I imagine you also wonder.

At night walking by this or that favorite
tree
will the branches drop fruit
for my delight

not even in my dreams
is it so

There are holes in my teeth
go all the way up to heaven
down to hell

Once someone called for help
but it was too deep
for rescue

In the light one can see glimmers
of silver, gold, geodes sparkling

in the night
one can hear
bats and forgotten creatures
from the old time.

cat litter (wartime)

I've seen a poop
hanging from another poop
by hair

I've seen
clumps on clumps
I've seen
grains kicked to the floor

I've seen
the prints of paws
where are those feet which once
there
stood